Monday, April 16, 2012

Welcomes and Warnings

So…you finally bit the bullet and joined Grommr.  Mazeltov!  You are probably initially overwhelmed by the number of profiles, the flurry of posts, and the moth-like swarms of people around certain gainers.  Or you see a really hot, popular guy on the site and want to muster up the courage to talk to him.  What do you say?  Does it matter how you say it?  What would be better: a wall post or a private message?  You might have a million questions.
Here I will try to answer them.
The name’s bigdreamer.  I’ve had the distinct pleasure (I consider the opportunity to speak with my friends an honor) to have made some really incredible friends on Grommr.  Real friends.  Guys who I would gladly call my friends in real life.  Our friendships extend beyond gaining and encouraging.  And every day, I talk to someone new and make another friend.  I have even been crazy enough to establish real world business contacts on Grommr.  This doesn’t make me an expert of friend making (God knows I’ve lost friends over time), but it gives me an interest to help guys find their place in our community and give them a positive experience.
Literally seconds before I started writing this post, a member posted on the newsfeed a question about the secret of being popular on Grommr.  I responded with “being genuine, showing respect, using tact.”  That’s the backbone of this blog.
Here I will try my best to share with you the secrets of navigating a social network without getting devoured by the Grommr sharks.  I will post topics such as how to make effective contact with another member, how your profile is actually a HUGE factor to your friendship, how to transition from Grommr friends to *gasp* Facebook friends, and more.  Hopefully we can garner enough interest to have other members share their stories.
First things first…Ground Rules of the Blog.
1)      This blog is not about getting a hook-up.  This is not a lesson on how to get a guy to jack off to you.  This is a blog for the Grommr members who want to make real, lasting friendships that go beyond our fetish.  This is for the people who want to make more friends.  If you understand the difference, welcome. J

2)      Start any message to me with requests to see pictures or Skype and you will receive an automatic F from the Bigdreamer School of Not Being a Shithead.  All of my gaining progress can be found on my Grommr profile.  Go there.

3)      If you have a problem with anything that’s on this blog, feel free to message me in private.  Any questions or comments I find pertinent to discussion I will address publicly.  If you just want to yell shit at me, do so in private.  I won’t have this become a place for you to vent at or about people.  Keep your dirty laundry indoors.

4)      Please feel free to ask me questions.  I will do my best to answer them.  However, if those questions have anything to do with those I outline in Rule #2, then I will have to rubber stamp the F to your forehead. J

5)      I won’t be a liaison between you and a gainer.  I know lots of guys on Grommr, including some of the “popular” ones and I can tell you that they are generally friendly and humble.  You should be able to make your own contact with them.  Don’t ask me to talk to them for you.  Like I tell the people who work for my production company, I am not an agency.  I don’t represent people.  And on Grommr, I won’t be your representative.

6)      This is not a foolproof system.  This is just general, friendly advice.  Every guy is different and requires a different approach.  Do not use this blog as a Bible for friendships.  You will be led astray like many a follower.
Now that we’ve established the foundation, we can build our house.  In the next post, I’ll be giving tips on how to build and finish your first foray into the gaining world: the profile.
Hearts, stars, and flying unicorn shit,
Bigdreamer

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