It’s been months since my last post, and I apologize if anyone was waiting. I’m bad at regular updates. Mainly I didn’t want to leave my bitchy, angry, cranky post as the last taste in your mouth. The last taste should be dessert anyway. So now 20 lbs. fatter and a few inches wider, I return to help the worried and hapless make friends on Grommr.
I think I will pick up where I originally left off and talk about conversations and keeping them afloat like the Kon Tiki instead of afloat like the Lusitania. (History, we are you!)
I know this seems like a stupid topic to some people. “It’s not THAT hard to talk to people!” But if that was so, wouldn’t everyone be friends already? And while you’re humming the melody of “Imagine,” I’ll start out by stating the obvious. Readers of this blog know this means a frownie face sticker on the forehead for me. I’ll wear it with pride.
Conversation is a two-way street.
Even the people who talk to themselves have a voice in their head that responds.
So if you’re having conversations where you’re doing all the work (a pet peeve of mine), something is rotten in the state of Denmark.
The best kind of conversation is one where all parties have input. You don’t like being left out of the discussion, so try to give something that the person you’re conversing with can grab onto and expand on.
It’s hard to add on to things like “lol,” “haha,” “thanks,” “okay,” and “yeah.”
It’s like a game of ping pong. Don’t drop the ball. Return the shot. If someone gives you a compliment, say “Thank you. I worked hard for it. Do you think...?” Blahdeeblahdeeblah. Just keep the lines open. Don’t let the conversation drop and hang there like an awkward dead man on the gallows in your living room. That’s not fun.
The point is, try to return the favor. Compliment them in return. Explain how you got there. Ask for their opinion on something else. Rapport. Rapport. Rapport.
For those who might not know, rapport is a friendly bond or relationship between two people.
It’s give and take. All conversation is give and take.
Now here’s something that I’m sure more of you want to know about.
How do you ditch a bad conversation?
Simple answer: Let it die out naturally.
Conversations are almost like organic beings. They live, breathe, grow, and take on a life of their own. How many times do you hear “The conversation didn’t go the way I expected it to?” Conversations are alive in a way. That also means that ones that are sick or weak will die. Often painlessly and without further ceremony. The person is hardly likely to contact you again. So you can relax. If the conversation sucks, you can be sure it will curl up and die soon, and you won’t be left cleaning up a smear campaign.
Breathe easy. It’s just a few words between people.
What do you do if someone insults you?
Don’t fight back.
Just walk away.
It’s only the internet.
To sum up, conversation requires both parties to provide some form of input. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, tell stories, and get the other party involved. One word responses murder conversation, so DON’T USE THEM. Make an effort. Show the other person you care.
If the conversation sucks more than a baby on a pacifier, just let it taper off. It’ll do that on its own. Relax and find more people to talk to.
If someone insults you, just drop the issue, delete message, and move on. You’ve got nothing to prove to anyone who insults you. Their loss.
I hope this can help you start to share your lives with people you want to be friends with. Friends start with sharing. If you don’t want to share, don’t look for friends or relationships. You’re in the wrong place.
Just keep the ball (and bellies) rolling.
Asbestos insulation, brine shrimp, the cryogenically frozen head of Walt Disney, a dromedary, and a Eurocentric view of world history
P.S. If you got the two Daria references, you get gold stars!